How Can

How can it be you're asking me to feel
the things you never show

Usually I won’t hear unknown / not previously heard songs when I am down or bothered.

Last Couple of days, I was bothered inside. It is usual for me to get troubled from inside, and during this time, I will go alone (literally) and do some analysis and introspection and eventually will try to change myself. This is a casual style of mine which was annoying my friends during my college days and they used to ask me reasons for my sudden silence or disappearance. But as months passed, they got used to it, I believe, for they stopped bothering me in such times, even though they recognize I am going thru something.

Currently I am in one such mood. It is kinda complex and a closer to heart situation involving people who matter in my life. But for the first time in my life, I am convinced that its not my fault and I should continue as I am. It is a great improvement in my life, for I always convince myself that it must be my fault. I always try to adjust to situations where all are comfortable. If I am in an argument, I always go an extra mile to see other person’s point of view and go extra extra mile to understand why the other person is making a mistake and try to justify his/her stand. But Now-a-days, I am changing. And I know it for sure.

One more aspect is my anger management. I usually won’t get angry or upset with someone as easily as I get with myself ;) But I do get angry at times and usually I get tongue-tied when angry and I will still be angry till the other person calms down. Also I usually try to reason out with the other person and convince him or her that the whole thing was just his or her mistake, if I believe that’s the case. But this fully exercise would have zapped me out and I will be mentally totally disturbed and my work-life balance would have gone for a task, that I will end of spending sometime alone to get composed. Also my first instinct will be to sever ties or maintain distance with someone when I am upset with them. I am improving in this aspect too. I stopped being emotional when angry and trying hard to be insensitive if a person makes mistake knowingly. But looks like this is a quality of Sagittarians and I need to live with it. :(

Oh, why this post? I wanted to tell this. Usually I won’t hear unknown / not previously heard songs when I am down or bothered. This is one aspect of mine where I need to change. There are few songs which I love to hear when I am down. BackStreetBoy’s ‘Show me the meaning’ is one such. This time after hearing the song B2B 8 times, I went crazy enough to hear this particular line repeatedly. With concise wordings, it meant more than what it was intended. So thought of posting /pasting them :)